What is bullying?

Bullying takes many forms. In some cases a child may not even realise that he is being bullied. Bullying can appear to start at random - for example, if one child decides that another is annoying - but it can also be more specific, perhaps because a friendship has broken down. Some bullying can be racially motivated, and this can often be detected by the language used. Other bullying may be sexual and may include molestation.

Bullying methods

• Emotional manipulation: A bully may ignore what the victim says, laugh at his mistakes, steal his bag or exclude him from a group
  
• Verbal abuse: A bully may persistently tease, call names, make nasty comments and spread rumours about the victim
  
• Physical abuse: A bully may inflict bodily harm upon his victim, including causing bruising, cutting him or pulling his hair

If you suspect that your child is being bullied, look out for the following indications:

• A sudden refusal to go to school
  
• More than the usual cuts and bruises
  
• Torn clothing and missing possessions
  
• Becoming moody and withdrawn
  
• Struggling with school work
  
• Anxiety

What can you do to help

• Initially you should provide good opportunities to talk to your children about their day at school. If one of your children tells you of an incident, no matter how minor, stay calm and be positive
  
• Reassure your child that he was right to tell you about bullying and, most importantly, let him know that the incident was not his fault
  
• Inform the school immediately. Ask the teachers or the school counsellor for advice, and request that an official incident is registered. Many schools have bullying intervention programmes in place, but if there aren't any at your child's school, contact the staff and discuss the introduction of techniques such as class discussions or peer counselling
  
• Find out from your child where the bullying is taking place (eg. in the bathrooms, on the schoolyard, etc), so that a teacher can watch for bullying in these areas and catch the culprits red handed. In this way, your child cannot be accused of telling
  
• If the bullying continues, and you are not happy with the school's response, make official, written complaints, first to the headmaster and then to the school board. It will help if you keep a record of the dates of all incidents. If the bullying persists, or if your child is physically or sexually assaulted, report it to law enforcement.